We all so much want to be seen, heard, and understood in our relationships. It makes us feel loved, cared for, and connected. Sometimes we can feel like we are just at a loss, and that we have tried over and over again to get our partner to listen to us. Here are 3 tips that you can try to do what is within your control.
How we say something is often times more important than what we are actually saying. If our tone is harsh, the person on the other end is going to really struggle to listen. Pay attention to the tone that you use. Being gentle but confident is the best tone you can have, so that you will be taken seriously and heard.
Do you ever just start talking about something, and you notice your partner is on their phone, or doing something else? It can be easy to take that personal right? Before you begin sharing something with your partner, it can be really helpful to let them know that you would like to share something with them, and to let you know when they are done with what else they are doing.
The message that we intend to send can get misunderstood so easily. After you are done sharing what you needed to with your partner, ask them, "So from what I shared with you, what message did you get?" This will allow you to know if you have been heard and understood, and will let you know if the conversation needs to continue until you both are on the same page.
For more tools or a place to share, please read more about couples therapy and reach out soon for a consultation.
I offer a free 30 minute consultation call to hear what your needs are and to answer any questions that you have. It is important to have a therapist that you feel comfortable with.
Reach out to me today to see if we would be a good fit!